stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nothing nothing matters that's how it feels, the sad thing is if I'm to get past that thought the best way (for today at least) is to ignore it thinking about people in my life right now: 3 mental illness sufficient to be acknowledged 3 recovering from significant illness/injury/surgery 1 apparently looking at a life time of ongoing illness and considering being part of a treatment not currently available in our country 2 recently gone into nursing homes 1 potential going into a nursing home 2 concerned they may never have kids with varying levels of "I hate kids anyway" and "maybe its for the best" 1 of which concerned never find that person to have kids with anyway 3 people I can think of that have died, feels like more feels like I'm not contributing and there is only 1 thing I even care about completely and everything else just forcing myself to do ... some half assed version of what I "should", growing more and more obstructionist and negative ... trying to work past that but its hard to do that consistently when who the fuck cares anyway 12:37 p.m. - Monday, May. 05, 2014 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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