stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- read Bible I'll figure it out fuck ... I just had this here, written, deleted, logged out, restarted with just those words and now someone just left my office with those exact words is that important? probably not ... just lucky bastard is more likely to be able to figure it out and if he doesn't I'll figure it out for him ... is this where I come back to God and say "you know I don't have a clue and I don't know I want Your help but" I don't even know what comes after that just angry its not by obeying the law you are saved by faith, no one was ever saved by the law all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial still struggle with resting in these things, where does that leave me? what do I do? Nothing?? Whatever I want to do because all is good as long as I have that faith in Christ as my saviour ... maybe that is simple truth but the simple truth seems to be I struggle mightly with that position ... where what I do almost completely doesn't matter whatever else happens I do think that simple time spent, not even with God in prayer, but just reading the Bible is good for me ... something in it that makes me more at rest whether or not I'm really even trying to absorb it or learn or apply ...it's just good for me but without searching it I won't find answers I guess and I'm just angry, pointless dumb stupid fucked up angry will I just find some peace then just be angry again? just another thing it seems right to do right now I guess ... I've sucked at the first thing ... I think ... can't even tell anymore not even that its about getting myself on track ...just being in the Word, like a pool or marinade ... just soaking it in 2:22 p.m. - Monday, May. 12, 2014 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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