stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- forget capsicum spray try banana spray You know when a car drives past and through a puddle and you get sprayed with water? Well something kind of like that almost happened to me a couple of days ago. I was innocently walking to get my afternoon coffee and a car drove past (pretty close to me really but it was going slow down a little alley way so that was fine) and then I saw this spray of stuff pop up just in front of me and I looked at the ground and there was a squashed banana! I was almost sprayed with banana! What are the odds? Another weird thing almost happened. Last night I had to do some washing else I would be coming to work topless and I'm pretty sure that we have a policy against that. So I was about to put my stuff in the machine when I realised there was already stuff in there. Fine, have to take it out put it in the dryer and then I thought I wonder how long it has been there it might have the weird disgusting smell that you get if it is left wet in the machine too long and I was about to grab a handful and take a sniff when I realised - this was the washing of one of my sisters which included underwear and I was about to smell it. I was THIS CLOSE to becoming a guy that had sniffed his sisters clothes. Ewww. And if comedies have taught me nothing else I also know that the moment I take a sniff someone will walk in - most likely my boss or someone whose opinion I really really care about. And then as I look at them as they stare at me in horror and I say "what" because I just don't realise what the problem is until I look in my hand and see a pair of undies. Also if I ever have to take a lie detector test and they ask "have you ever sniffed your sister's clothes?" I'll be screwed. No doubt it will be on a huge tv show and I have to tell the truth or I don't win a kazillion dollars. Hmmm real friends who respect me or a kazillion dollars? Thats a tough one ... Okay I'll take the money and buy new friends and call me a crazy but I reckon I'd become famous for it and end up doing commercials where I joke about sniffing stuff to make another kazillion dollars after I'm forced into it when I waste my first kazillion on buying stuff like online web comics (scary go round, white ninja, etc...) and doing research into the perfect chocolate. Oh oh oh or maybe researching making chocolate out of potatoes and then calling it solanum tuberosum! And, you know giving money to the starving people in the desert or whereever. 9:24 a.m. - Thursday, Jun. 10, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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