stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- valentines 06 heard Verve Pipe - The Freshmen today on the 202 Classic Alternative I was a fucking human goose bump pretty much through the whole song fuck me dead that got to me even now just thinking about it brings a tingling good song, liked it back then and all but ..... Tonic - you wanted more came up to like that too back then always wanted to get the song, the album but never did. just one of those things I guess. soooooo how was your valentines? you went out for a meal with a 70 year old woman, who bought you a massive card and a monkey that REALLY likes to say "I love you"? me too! did she kinda go to not quite the right place and somehow keep herself hidden when you looked around? did it take over an hour til she went to a pay phone to call and ask where you where? just eh fuck me dead over an hour man I was kinda annoyed about having this meal and everything with her, lots of tiny things really: valentines day was sad for some reason this year when its never even been anything except that one year I had someone; just felt like going home and not doing much that night just in a sink into the lounge and relax mood; didn't feel like talking and knew talking would occur and I had nothing. who konws what else perhaps also because I knew she valued my company and I just didn't see why right now, its like I was annoyed that she didn't see that my company wasnt that great. eh, whatever. +++ also fuck spelling and capitalisation this time around :P just dont care right now, not in a bad way just not fussed +++ but anyways didn't really want to be there but while I was stading at the entrance to the train station looking around for her I started looking at people cuties mostly I have to admit :P but still, people I love to watch people and to stand there and watch hundreds basically just flood past me in bursts and then to watch those who stayed around waiting - valentines day stuff I guessed a bit was fascinating and made me smile got some smiles too *sigh* cuties *sigh* no idea what they find really but I'm not too worried :D but yeah just seeing people was fun and then I started thinking about stuff crazy mind going into input overload from all the visual stimuli and laughing for no apparent reason and so on and so forth as I do I loved the look on one girls face when she went past, it was like when you see a friend who makes you laugh or is doing something to make you laugh and you kinda scruch up your face with your lips pursed and your eyes laughing but determined not to laugh all out you know what I mean oh and she was cute too curly shortish blonde hair it is sweet me to know I caught the eye of those attractive young people in my old age even if only for a glance oooh a cutie on the train today too - and she smiled at me, like, three times that was as I was getting off though so maybe she was just happy to see me go ha, as if I am SO hott anyways for those keeping score at home - my valentines turned out to be really nice. Just pleasant, food, and just a walk over the harbour, which pleased her so much since it meant she would spend more time with me and not be straight off home, which made me sad really. Who am I? Just a guy who knows her from church. She just wants some company mostly I think. I am pretty nice I guess, a listener, but still ... makes me sad that I am a highlight for her. so many lonely people around makes me sad and I can't really do that much just be nice in little bit and pieces dont think I really have much more I can or am willing to give even knowing I could never really be enough if I did put all my life in, doesnt take away the sadness seems a little silly to be sad about it when I can't / am not willing to do anything about it but whatever such is life also I was funny I was talking to her when she tried to find out where I was and I got a bit annoyed and when the conversation was over I spat out "Fuck me Senseless" and I think a girl buying her train ticket heard and possibly was listening as I had been talking - judging by the almost smile on her face and the fact that she was completely fixated on looking right ahead ha wish she had looked over, we could have shared a laugh ah well, I guess alls well that ends well no not really but true enough 10:05 p.m. - Friday, Feb. 17, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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