stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rain stories and how much do you want it it is raining still makes me smile even after the third day in a row of hours of torrential rain apparently some people have died which is terrible and a bit difficult to comprehend even with all this rain, I mean its just rain, it doesnt hurt anyone guess they must have been caught in flash flood type things which I can totally see happening with any of these last three days today I dont have to go outside I dont have the same firsthand knowledge that on Thursday meant that on my way to the station as it was raining there were puddles on the curb so big I could barely jump them and there was a lot more rain in the air than on the ground which I will illustrate going to the station was pretty bad, I was soaked, I chose not to sit down because I was so wet I didnt think I would be able to dry properly sitting down and didnt want to rain on anyone while did the whole sliding in front of people's legs to get to the middle seat thing probably would have made THEM all wet just from sitting next to me too and left a wet patch on the back of the seat for sure but even more concerning possible also on the seat ... uh part of the seat ... you know the bit you sit on people might think I peed my pants! well that was all great anyway, soaked, had to stand up trying to dry, got a little more wet getting to the coffee shop, which I decided to go to even though I was probably late, but then when I left the shop it was POURING like I have never seen before and it wasnt just mist before either but the best bit, the bit I remember most, was when I was about to cross at the lights ... the little man changed from red to green ... the wind also changed it was like someone threw a bucket of water on my back and right shoulder I thought a truck or train had gone past as sprayed water on me from out of a puddle like you see in movies, I mean sure trains can't go on roads but obviously this train really didnt like me and was willing to change the known rules of the universe to get me wet the bastard talk about vindictive! I was already soaked and he wanted to soak me more? maybe it was a she-train? had seen me kissing my girlfriend on the train one too many times and just lost it with jealousy or perhaps hatred of public displays of affection? seriously she-train that was YEARS ago you need to get over it of course to be fair I don't know how long it takes to be able to ignore the known rules of the universe and drive and a train on the road (trams do not count) maybe it just took her this long to get ready? in that case, I am fascinated, they say that revenge is a dish best served cold, and my question to you, she-train, is this does that still apply when the revenge is not only cold but mouldy, rotten, dried out and disgusting? I hope so for your sake, otherwise it truely sucks to be you well unless you really like being a train that can drive on the roads but anyways after I was brutally assaulted by a Universe altering train from the Past, I finally got to work I was still pretty wet how wet? my socks were still wet two and a half hours later when I took them off for good this is despite having not worn my shoes at all, my work shoes that is, my walking to work shoes were in the corner thinking about what they had done when the had selfishly allowed themselves to get so soaking wet that my socks were still wet two and a half hours later in fact they still had not learned their lesson by the end of the day, eight hours after I got to work so I left them at work that night to really give them some time to think also my jacket, which generally keeps my shirt dry failed to do so this time, partly due to the water going to parts of my chest where it did not cover me and partly because it was just that rainy, I dont know maybe this is a double standard but I dont feel it was my jacket's fault on this occasion ... but as to how wet it was? I put the jacket on the little hook at the back of the door. it was moved to the back of one of my chairs at some point in the day, possibly when I was going to lunch but decided that wearing no jacket would probably leave me less likely to be left freezing and soaking wet when I went outside, and I think I may have moved it to the chair after I got back in the hope that it would maybe dry faster, which was where it was noted by my boss in the afternoon when he moved it to sit down and he suggested using his little heater to dry it off it was almost completely dry by 5, just the tiniest bit of damp in one of the cuffs the thing I did not notice til later on, the next day I think when I went to put it up on the hook on the back of the door when I got in was that the back of the door was now water damaged, actually had some parts of it swollen and cracked now I dont know if that kind of thing happens so quickly, over the course of maybe five or six hours with a soaking jacket on it ... but doesnt it make for a good indication of how wet that jacket was? I hope so or I will have to come over and make you feel clothes directly out of the washing machine before the spin cycle to show you how wet even thought that surely must be a least a little more wet surely ... also he noted that my shirt was actually stained ... I can only assume it was some kind of dye or perhaps sweat that had soaked into the jacket over time that was washed out in the deluge and had transferred to my shirt where it dried and left odd watermarks ... charming stuff I know but I feel you should know this you know just in case you ever meeting me and accidentally come into contact with my jacket, so you can hopefully go wash before you suffer permanent staining speaking washing machines and that shirt I have to go empty the washer and put it in the drier ... and commence the condensation in the bathroom ... it is not enough that I have torrential rain storms outside, I must create my own! ok as soon as I put the drier on it get windy again outside ... coincidence? man do I know how to make a short story long ... I was just trying to say " it rained bad and I got wet and my clothes got so wet that they didnt get dry til basically the end of the day and I had to take off my socks because they werent drying even though I wasnt wearing shoes" see wouldnt that have been much better? also I feel like I have forgotten something ... who know what it could be? well about all that wasnt mentioned of my clothes was my underwear which was also wet but I didnt take it off because I'd like to keep my job and then on Friday it was dry in the morning but wet at the end of the day and my underwear was totally wet cos on the way home I had to hold a couple of books under my jacket and it made the jacket gape and uncover the crotch like a target that the rain just could not get enough of and it was windy as and this girl was just smiling at me when I crossed the road (at another set of lights! perhaps it was the she-train in human form) presumably because I looked so amusing in my bedraggled state and as I have to imagine did look look amusing so I smiled back when I hurried across the road hunched to the side to make sure those books didnt fall out and making sure that I was exposing my crotch to as much wind and rain as possible wearing boxers that day only pair I have only wearing them cos I was in a hurry and couldnt see anything else and it felt odd missed the support maybe? or maybe they just didnt provide the same protection for the more delicate skin against the roughness of my inner thigh the roughness of my inner thigh never thought I would type that phrase that does pretty much describe my concern though, on the other hand maybe I was just crossing my legs a LITTLE too closely creating that feeling of discomfort I guess we will never know so yeah rained early Thursday - long story rained late Friday - shorter more intimate story rained today and I enjoyed the sound lying in bed from early when I woke the first of a couple of times in the night and currently making it rain in my bathroom although also trying to avoid that by having every single window open and the doors between the rooms think I should put that on my list of things to ask about place? Does it rain on the inside of this residence if the drier (attached to the wall and part of said residence) is used at any point most especially when any doors or windows are shut does that fact that I almost ended that with "love" mean I have writing too many emails recently? Could be, I certainly wrote a lot recently for a prayer request that was very strongly on my heart and in fact seems to have been answered to some degree. you know what it is so humbling and amazing to get responses back saying yes I will be praying even from people I have not spoken to for months, it honestly makes me tear up at little before I remember that I have to save my tears for when ladies are around so I can make them think I am all sensitive and stuff :P oh good times, good times why DO I delight in making jokes that are so bizarre? when I am speaking of something so sweet and important too me to? maybe just because it IS sweet and it DOES make me happy that I did it and felt it and everything and just leaves me light hearted and more than a little light headed judging by the side effects :) but yeah so so sweet to know people are praying, makes me very happy and humbled that I had anything to do with it and just plain filled with joy when I think of it it is nice to have such a thing to think of that is just pure joy to me ... well I guess beside the need for the prayer request to go out it is strangely exciting to be able to pray though, to know you have this important thing to lay before the Lord and this thing that you have back up over too, I dunno its not even about results I dont think because I have to trust to God that He knows what to do but at the very least I know that if this is a situation like with the persistent neighbour, or persistent widow that has an effect on the result, if this is a thing that asking and asking and asking and asking and not stopping will get a result .. well that is happening its exciting! normally I am not good at being like that and I dont know what kind of balance you need between knowing He heard the first time and never stopping asking but I am honestly so glad I did this and I think if I had not I would likely be feeling really sick at myself even if things turned out just the same but yes I have a house inspection thing this afternoon in just over and hour the place downstairs had a few people looking at it to rent it I think just a couple hours ago so I guess the people selling them (they are held jointly) are either expecting them to be purchased for investment purposes or just want to make sure they have a tenant in as soon as possible I love the rain I think I will miss this place when I move my thinking has changed again in my moving plans I was originally thinking 3 bedrooms just so I never have to move again, then I was thinking well I want something cheap enough that I can pay it off in 8 or 10 years, save on masses of interest, and originally wanting nothing to do with units, only townhouses or villas, basically because units have people above and below whereas the others may have connecting walls but you are much less boxed in and you also have some yard and now am thinking hey why not a unit? in a small block, the only kind in the area I am looking in in any case so that is a given, and am now thinking heeeey what about 2 or 3 beds? what if family are hanging out and just dont feel like going home ... or friends ... or whatever, like having someone come in and rent too ... not sure about that one and there is a place right near the station I want to be near cheap and possibly cheaper than advertised as it has been there for a while 3 beds 2 balconies! actually that deserves the 2 BALCONIES!!!! treatment cos I really like my balcony :) but not yet my pretty ... it seems like financially the best time is going to be in late July miracles aside prayed for $40,000 ... just came to mind a while back so see what happens there yeah I dont know it is weird to pray that but it felt right to do so ... so see what happens oh no I am just sitting here thinking how if I get a $40,000 bonus or something like that I would just HAVE to like cough and say uh AFTER tax I meant :P hahahahahaha oh dear speaking of God, been thinking a fair bit lately and one of the things I've decided was to give up sex, completely. people who know me (such as my internal monologue) might be tempted to make comments along the lines of "uh, don't you have to be, like, having sex to give it up?" or similar oh so witty remarks to which I would reply SHUT UP YOU STUPID BASTARDS or something similarly witty, light hearted but still able to get across my subtle point. but yes, to be honest you could say that and ask what I am thinking if you based your thoughts purely on my actions, but I am not interested in me being able to choose not to have sex I want everything interally to be in the right place so it just happens and I think that starts with the thoughts, which you are unlikely to see unless you are that person who bought the mind reading device off ebay last week ... you dog I was top bid with 1 minute to go! if I ever find you ... well you read these thoughts ... those among you who do not have this device feel free to go make a coffee or tea and sit back and read an improving book for a little while while I think this individual's mind into a horrid gooey mess shouldnt take too long cos the are a stupid head with poopy pants cos they dont know how to not poo in the pants or indeed how to take off the pants at all they are also a stupid head thats right it did need to be said twice! well anyways no more sex I'm going to have to get a hobby any suggestions? actually given that the question is what should I replace the time I have previously spent on sex with ... just something about it that just makes you think of things that sound sexual to suggest as replacements it has been going well though guess that it is one of those ideas whose time has come the other thing I have been trying to apply is broader and is just simply saying to God I embrace your will in a fashion that is not just submitting to it which can just be brokenheartedly allowing something but also wanting to desire it and to rejoice in it, this has also been going well despite many hurts and sadnesses that have taken just as much time as the joys and the rejoicings but I guess it is not saying I will never be hurt or feel sad or anything like that more just trying to live joyously in what is was a pretty sucky time of it earlier today but had a nice chat with a friend that helped a lot so good times are here again From The Purpose Driven Life, which I havent really been going through properly but I opened at random last week and found this which helped. Habakkuk 2:3 These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seem slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! and later in the week James 1:4 Don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed. of course I have no idea what God's plans are so, I guess that could make it seem like they are going pretty slow :P and I guess I do try to work through things and not just get quick fixes so indirectly I am likely to not get out of things prematurely, more likely too slow it seems, but when the moment comes I can jump to it, so maybe I am just doing it the right way? I want to make a joke about how awesome I am being able to do it the right way but at the same time I really really don't, maybe just the idea of being made mature meaning pain to me taking the edge of my sillyness one last thing I am doing is stopping looking for anyone this one came about the same time as the sex one and it surprised me both the thought itself and the effect when I basically just went along with it and embraced it and was filled with such peace and joy it has lessened and I am just thinking about a lot of stuff so my mind is not clear right now so I wonder why that would be the thing to do and why it could create such joy, I guess I will see what happens cos right now it is not clear, the only clarity truely in it was from that first day and the knowledge of the truth I found and the effect it had on me. I have started writing in my journal thing a little bit again and that is peaceful to me and I have had a good day today overall, surprised that I ended up actually taking this weekend off from work as I had pretty much expected to be going in to work at some point but it was under control to the degree that I could have left early on Friday but in fact ended up just going for a coffee for about half and hour and chatting with the lady there, I really should get her name, I hope she hasn't already told me and I forgot, and just looking around a little online and doing a couple of little helping things at the office. and yeah ... did I mention I like the rain? 12:31 p.m. - Saturday, Jun. 09, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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