stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- long weekend continued so yeah in a shite mood today, feel like howling, something just so wrong I dont know but onward with my stories from the weekend of stuff just to say something that I think I did not say, I dont think my sister is all crazy and all this stuff is in her mind with my Mum, there are issues there and neither are blameless, now or then and I did say to both of them that there was stuff that both needed to take care of ... and fuck knows what else was said as I said I didnt do great things exactly but I tried and in the end think it did work out ok or even good even though I cant really think to say how exactly it just seemed that way my sister was good the next day, or was it the day after? when she was talking about him and what she did and did not want millions of conflicting desires, which is fine, but overall a good heart even in all the sadness and pain so church the next day was interesting since everyone was pretty on edge still well not me really but then I am calm to the point of insanity at times, perhaps just now I am paying for it? was given peace beyond my means for the days, even in anger and frustration in fighting and in bizarre things of the church day such as Mum being really upset and me encouraging her in much the same way as poke from a pointy stick, but also giving her a hug in the car park when we were going to go in to church seemed the thing to do and I did it, I guess it did something, it certainly made her cry so ... win? and much the same for my Dad, asked him if he was going ok and he gave the standard type relying on God thing and I basically said thats not really good enough and gave him a hug, which went on for a while, he didnt cry though so maybe I did it wrong? also apologised for disobeying him the night before when I was argueing with my sister and didnt just leave it I still think it worked out good but I like to try to live that respect where I can, I guess I dont have to realy deal with that kind of thing much and I dont really know where obedience to parents thing ends, its not like I am living there or anything ... or is it just honour them? either way I'd rather be good with them, as in relate well not be a good boy, whatever that means. again feel kinda silly like I am applying somethign that maybe does not apply to me any more and that most people dont really think of but it is important to me, I want to respect the flow of authority, you know? if I am supposed to submit to another authority it is important to me that I do mostly theoretical really I guess cos I dont really generally come across much tension there in part cos I am the guy who tends to do slightly odd things and is left alone to be that guy in church and at home I dont really have that much trouble ... especially since I dont live there so I dont get jobs!! coincidence? :P yeah, just dont tell me what to do and I will totally respect your authority ... hehe but also my Mum upset another lady at church ... possibly by using the poke with a pointy stick kind of encouragement I used with her, which OCCASIONALLY goes a little awry so tried to take care of her a little I dont think there was particularly any fault on either side just uncomfortable honesty/truth spoken by each which neither really liked to hear but neither really intended what they said as offence got into the singing and they wandered around in the reception / after service areas of the church and outside during the rest of the service had a road trip to Bowral, to drink hot chocolate food was nice people had nice times told a guy he was nerd maybe a couple times too many, in a nice way and only using it after he used it himself but still ... probably too much live and you learn ... tuning my "ok-to-call-nerd-ometer" as we speak nothing earth shatterly horrible just something I noted, FAIRLY sure he is not at home crying right now over being a nerd sister had a good time I think well the one that has been mentioned so much the others that were there seemed to also be in a good mood I "made a ruckus" at the table by carefully putting salt and pepper shakers and various things on their sides ... apparently driving my sister and the guy formerly known as nerd crazy, well until one of them tidied them up spoil sports everyone else thought it was hilarious and by extension that I was hilarious so there you go scientific proof that I am hilarious ... just forget the high level of sisters involved and pretend it was a random group being tested and that there was a series of tests and that they all showed high levels of me being hilarious oh no! I think I have caught NERD!!!! ... anyways also found out that an aunt may be in serious marital difficulties - reading between the lines ie My friend is having serious marital dificulties ... also it was indicated that I know them, so yeah BINGO! in a horrible way grandfather's physical state made clearer ... basically blind with major back issues are the only things I can say completely clearly ... and he is one of the people with Grandma who have put their hands up to answer the prayer request I sent out man that chokes me up she has dementia to some degree too I think ... they just keep going his 94th birthday soon too so will get to say hi and give him a hug very sensitive to such things right now very soft hearted have been for a little while it is a blessing but also painful ... Sunday night was crap movies that I really dont want to watch that people got for my sister to watch ... Sweet Home Alabama? I dont know much about it but she seems pretty ... horrible :( of course what I find romantic is the scene in x men 3 where wolverine has to basically have his body destroyed over and over to get to his love who he then must kill for everyone's sake, including her own I dunno the sacrice gets to me, more his than hers I guess, which is a bit mean given that she is the one who actually DIES but he basically was just there saying I dont care if you destroy me, I'm still coming to you ... something like that I dunno so yeah maybe that means that if you know want to like Sweet Home Alabama just so you can say at least I'm not crazy like that guy ... also I dont really like whoever it is that plays the lead role also dont like Julia Roberts, she just annoys me in some way, really annoys me also she doesnt really seem that attractive to me ... so I dont really get those people who say she is and there are I think at least two such people in my family I mean sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder so they can think what they want and I guess I wouldnt like to think that she finds herself unattractive but I reserve the right to be disinterested your Honour. but anyway no idea what Monday was like, a kinda slow version of Sunday afternoon? cant remember now and Tuesday was work, which went pretty well if not spectacularly and included the phone call that led to me going with a friend to Spotlight ... and an email that led to me goign to the Intro to the Old Testament that night and for the next two Tuesdays costing me $10 too!! that was never mentioned!!!!! saw my spotlight friend on the train this morning but was not sure it was her since she did not react to me at all and my eyes are getting older by the day ... but it was her in her big sunglasses and apparently being so tired that her brain was not attached to her spinal column and that made sense in some way ... so yeah really tired I dont know what else to say now, I probably could ramble on some more but will spare you all ... yes all of you he says to the multitude tomorrow maybe Bible stuff? the hermanutical gap??? as compared to the gap between law and love??? maybe? man I need to start sitting up straight :( 7:13 p.m. - Wednesday, Jun. 13, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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