stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cant leave them behind fucking hell all these sad stories of people dying are killing me right now, seeing them pop up on facebook ... specifically stuff with kids, like, a toddler's last kiss to his Mum before she died I don't know if it is me I'm feeling the pain for, or the Mum, or the toddler ... probably A&B mostly, its like ... the kid will adjust, I'd be sad for him but, I dunno ... I think its the thought that I feel heartbroken for her that she wasn't able to not die, as though she chose it or something ... that me "choosing" to die would destroy me because of the damage it would cause, I don't know if I could ever commit suicide at this point in my life because it would feel more like desertion than release (assuming release from something is the reason for suicide) also I can't do anything about the toddler, or the Mum or Dad or anything ... so I'm left with nothing I can do, except move on, which seems rude and wrong but I guess that is all you can do regarding someone you don't know and such I tell you what, this kids thing gets in deep and fucks you up ... I won't say its anything close to all bad mind you ... just yeah, this hurts ... I would be so mad at myself for dying, what is that for a thought? 1:13 p.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 18, 2017 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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