stuberosum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the price he pays had a rest day on the weekend, or a rest morning that turned into an afternoon instead, and I asked if anything needed to be done. I feel like two things were mentioned, maybe the first was the washing (out and brought back in ... then left somewhere, I don't know where ... oh right in the basket by the door inside) but the other was moving boxes of our son's new formula (another attempt to find a way that he stops vomiting and thus hopefully avoids needing additional surgery for reflux) and some other stuff like that which was parked in boxes by the front door. Apparently we are magically running out of space, so it wasn't clear where this would all go and its true that if I placed the boxes on top of one another they would be taller than I am, but I figured there should be somewhere. 4 or so hours later I've used my usual technique of pulling basically everything out of a space (this time the built in storage in the kids room) and reorganizing/putting in rubbish and ended up putting it all away again except much better organized, and taking up about 75% of the space despite adding all those boxes plus a bag of stuff about the same size as me. Pretty pleased, I mean it doesn't matter that much in the long term, it was expand out again over time, but for now its organised and (to me) easily understood. I've just had another thought on how to organise it a bit more too ... then I had a bath, for like the first time in 12 months ... which I guess makes it at least 5 times I had a bath since we moved in (money well spent on the fancy bath clearly) and that was 1 1/2 hours of watching an infuriatingly metagamed play session of dungeons and dragons, which could have left me still hesitant to keep watching even though I've loved it so far except A) it saved by a turning point that made metagaming far less annoying (I me hope they realise how much that didn't work for them and stay away from such game situations) and B) I still had another 30 minutes of free time so I just kept watching and was so relieved that it basically just went back to where it was before and I could just forget about it and get back to loving it it was good, no sleep though, which is the key part of free time nowadays ... but refreshment certainly and I've kept watching which has been cool and I also started to play Civilization 5 again last night (the day after organizing day) and really enjoyed it in the classic "oh shit its 12:34" sense, fortunately this is pretty much ok because I was waiting up to feed a baby anyways, I can't say I felt awesome at the 4:15 alarm (another feed, I don't think I fully awoke) or the pre 6am alarm ... but it was ok, also I did sleep for 3 hours during that day ... oh, and looking through all the stuff in the clean up found a few things that reminded me, he's had it pretty rough that boy ... its not quite that I've found it hard to look past how its affected me, its more that I've focussed on what I've needed to do for him and in being practical and just do what needed to be done lost the sense of how hard it must have been on him, even still now ... need to make a point of remembering ... respecting his efforts and what he deals with every day now ... pray it may improve, continue to improve ... poor thing is making so many little hand signals that I have NO idea what they mean and isn't getting the whole talking thing yet so I'm just at sea ... hate to have him express something and not be able to act on it, to let him know its worth expressing things, don't want him to give up on them ... and I'm definitely tired and not giving him quite the same level of interaction and such ... am I going to have to refocus overall, or perhaps just work on balance to having time to my own mind, and acknowledge the importance of that, as well as just deal with the limits I have and a human being ... or do I need to just get back at it? anyway, love you son, you've done great and you still surprise and impress me and delight me, even when I've not a clue what you are trying to get across ... pray you continue to grow and learn and get better every day 2:57 p.m. - Monday, Jul. 31, 2017 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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